The Orgasmic Origins of Rob Brezney’s Pronoia


the sneaking suspicion that the universe is conspiring to help you.

Rob Brezsny author, astrologer, bon vivant wasn’t born a Proniod fuckmaster, but he got there as fast as he could…

i__m_in_mamak_stall_by_ahgunRob reports from the Truth and Beauty Labs:

Any young heterosexual man who’s serious about becoming a good lover must early in the game confront a demoralizing truth about the difference between the male and female orgasms. If there were no other evidence that the Goddess is a trickster, this fact alone would suffice for proof: Most human males are prone to ejaculate within two minutes of the time they insert their jade stalk into the silk furrow…

On the other hand, most human females cannot under even the most favorable ambiance ascend to the state of orgasmic grace in less than 15 minutes. Half an hour is not unusual, and I’ve known ripe and fully emancipated women who rarely need less than 45 minutes…

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The first few times Celia and I made love, I tuned in to an unexpected phenomenon: I wasn’t having to withhold ejaculation with the teeth-clenching severity I’d become used to. In fact, as I opened to the incredible possibility, it became almost easy to bottle up the primordial force of nature within me. No baseball meditations were required, nor the convoluted breathing exercises synchronized with thigh-slapping and eye-popping. And I found myself having to summon a mere fraction of the heroic muscle constriction that characterized my most reliable technique…

A radical theory dawned in me. What if men are not solely responsible, I mused, for evolution’s conspiracy to trick them into delivering DNA’s payload in two minutes flat? What if women play at least a small role in perpetuating the bad habit that is the most likely factor to undermine mutually gratifying heterosexual sex? And what if Celia was one of the rare females who somehow turned off the part of her programming that contributes to the bad habit?

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1 Comment

  1. Brezsnys the bomb …love baroque writing..nomsayin? This is a sophisticated and cosmowierd site thank you cheering!

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